


Think Quickly

by BlueGirl22



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, Overdosing, Sibling Bonding, Suicide Attempt, inspired by a thing alexme7_7 wrote, please read that it's good, well as much bonding as is possible when connor is essentially passed out the entire time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueGirl22/pseuds/BlueGirl22
Summary: Zoe has always been calm under pressure, which comes in handy when she comes home to find her brother having taken a fistfull of pills.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to do some research about what happens/ what one should do if someone ODs, but I may have gotten things wrong anyway.

Zoe turned her key in the lock, swinging open her front door with force. She had planned to stay after school and do her homework in the library, but apparently the library was always closed on the first day. Just her luck. She, Zoe Elise* Murphy, had managed to go through two fucking years of highschool without picking up on that. And, of course, they had told her this _after all the busses left_ , so she had to walk all the way home. She flung her backpack to the ground with gusto and went into the kitchen to get a granola bar, but she stopped short when she heard something from upstairs. It sounded like something crashed in Connor’s room.

 _What the hell?_ thought Zoe. She looked at her watch, and yep, it was 4:45. Dad was at work, Mom would be at yoga, and Connor would be getting high in a bathroom somewhere downtown. There shouldn’t have been anyone around. Another crashing sound exploded through the house. For half a second, Zoe thought they were being burgled, but the door hadn’t been tampered with. It was more likely that, for once, Connor had come home before dark. Slipping off her shoes, she quietly crept up the stairs and down the hallway to his door.

“Connor?” she called out apprehensively, “What’s going on? You know Mom will noticed if you break shit again.”

Something slammed against the door. A shoe? A book? Zoe couldn’t tell. “GO THE FUCK AWAY!” shouted her brother. “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!”

Zoe found herself all too eager to comply, and turned to go back downstairs, but a bad feeling tickled at the back of her mind. Something was wrong. She was quite used to hearing her brother scream, but there was something off about his voice now. This was not his usual belting screech, he sounded a lot weaker, like he did when he was drunk but worse. Overriding every inhibition she’d built up over the years of living in this house, she knelt down and peered through the hole in the door where Dad had taken the lock out two years ago.

The first thing she noticed was Connor, sitting on the floor, slumped against the side of his bed, with his head hanging by his chest. He wasn’t moving much, he just kept opening and closing his fists by his side. The second thing she noticed was the bag of pills on the floor in front of him. Or rather, a bag that she had seen a little under a dozen oxycodone pills in yesterday, but was now empty. For half a heartbeat, she felt an urge to tiptoe back down the stairs, maybe go to a friend’s house, and pretend she was never here. Zoe’s life would get so much easier without her brother in it. But that would be selfish, and it would crush her mother. Plus, Connor would be _dead_. He may be a complete asshole, but he didn’t deserve to die. The thought flew from her mind, she whipped out her phone, and she came crashing into his room.

“Zoe, I told you get out-” slurred Connor, but she cut him off.

“Zip it asshole, I’m trying to save your life.” She swooped down to look him in the eyes. His pupils were contracted to pinpricks. She slapped at his face a few times. “Come on Connor, you need to stay awake.”

“No! Just let me sleep…” he mumbled, eyes closed. His voice was sounding a lot weaker each time he spoke.

“I can’t let you do that bro, remember? The doctors told us how to handle this when you tried to do this last May. Your brain is shutting down, and sleeping will shut it down even more. Now, how much did you take?” Zoe was surprised at how calm she was. She had always been good in a crisis, but she would have expected her pulse to pick up at least.

“Eh… some.”

“Very helpful.” She put her phone on the ground. “Siri, call 911.” She picked the plastic bag up from the ground and tried to remember how much there had been. She’d only glanced it in his bag, so that was difficult. Maybe nine pills? She didn’t think that was _too_ serious.

“911, what’s your emergency?” said a female voice from her phone.

She flipped her head around to talk at the phone while she laid Connor down in the recovery position. “Hi, yeah, I need an ambulance, my brother just took an overdose.”

“Okay ma’am, stay calm, what’s your address?”

“I’m at 36 Croydon road.”

“Do you know first aid?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, remain calm, and we’ll be there soon.” The line went dead.

Zoe looked at Connor and slapped him again. “You know what I said about going to sleep, Connor.”

He groaned.

“Come on, you really need to stay awake.” She stood, and noticed something in the corner of her eye. Looking directly at it, she could she that it was an empty orange medicine bottle. Now that was odd. He hadn’t taken any prescription meds since the doctors realized the antidepressants weren’t working. She bent to pick it up. It was xanax, and prescribed to someone named “Evan Hansen”. Who was that? She’d talked to a guy at school earlier named Evan, but it was unlikely that he would give his prescription drugs to Connor after being pushed to the ground.

And- _oh shit_. If Connor had taken xanax too, that meant he was in a far worse state than she thought. She crouched down to look at him again, and held the bottle in front of his face.

“Connor, Connor look at me, did you take these? Connor, _did you take these_?”

He opened his eyes, visibly fighting off unconsciousness, and nodded slowly.

 _Fuck_. “Okay, thank you for telling me.” She checked her watch. There would only be few before the ambulance arrived; they lived near a dispatch station. “Try talking to me, it will help you stay awake.”

“Can’t.”

“Yes you can, c’mon. Say anything. How did you get the xanax?”

He took a deep breath. “I um... uh… swiped it from a kid’s bag at school.”

“The bottle says ‘Evan Hansen’. Who is that?”

“A guy. There’s uhh, a letter in my pocket.”

Zoe could paper peeking out of his jacket. Gingerly, she plucked it out and unfolded it. She read it over quickly. It made no sense. The first part did, sure, but “Zoe, Zoe, all of my hope is pinned on Zoe”? No, that didn’t sound right.

“Connor, did you write this?” she asked incredulously.

“No, he did. I just wanted to… that’s not my note.”

“Oh.” _Wait, if Evan wrote this about me- that can wait until later._ “I get what you’re saying. _Did_ you write a note?”

He shook his head sleepily. She heard the door crash open below.

“WE’RE UP HERE,” she called out, “UP THE STAIRS, TURN LEFT, LAST DOOR ON THE RIGHT.”

* * *

 

Zoe ran alongside the stretcher as the paramedics loaded Connor into the ambulance, his hand clasped in hers. One of them, a dark skinned woman whose name tag read “Nora Beck”, turned to her. “I’m sorry, but you can’t ride with in here with your brother. I’m sure the police will be willing to give you a lift to the hospital, though. You have to let go of his hand.”

Zoe tried relaxing her muscles, but he had her in a death grip. “He won’t let me.”

She watched Nora make a split second decision, and then she said, “Okay, hop in, just don’t get in the way, and follow all directions given to you. Got it?”

Zoe nodded and pulled herself up and into the van. As the doors closed behind her and they pulled out into the street, she felt Connor squeeze her hand more tightly for a moment. The sirens began, and it all began to sink in. _Jesus Christ all of that just happened my brother just tried to kill himself I just saved his life_ . _That all happened this is real_. She suddenly felt her pulse pick up, and realized tears were rolling down her face. That was odd. She never thought she would cry if something happened to Connor, but she guessed she was wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> *I have no basis for this being her middle name, but this just felt right
> 
> feel free to chat with me on tumblr @bisexual-evanhansen


End file.
